Miracles

It’s hard sometimes you know? Sometimes the support you need you don’t have it and you feel it so you just give up and you lose yourself and all the good things about it like your confidence. You start having bad thoughts like giving up and taking your life away to ease the pain but that means you are weak and selfish and don’t want to face the truth.

The truth. You learn another thing. The truth you've been accepting for so long now you start denying it, because you feel weak and in a moment of weakness it all makes sense but not clear. But you must not give up and it only takes a few people to stay by your side and that my friend is like a small miracle.

Miracles happen every day. We are just too blind to see them through. The things that are free are to be appreciated and you must feel blessed. In moments of weakness you must learn and control those feelings. The small miracles can help you get it over with. You can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Walk fast to reach it and never look back again.

There. You reached it. Now keep it safe. You earned it back so don’t let it go. It’s your confidence and it will help you rise above of all your weaknesses. The biggest miracle of all is that; your confidence. Now go and rule the world. You can do it!

Walking Under the Sun

This is a good day to be happy. Every day is a good day to be happy, but sometimes a little bit of sunlight is not that bad. Living in a city like London, is not always a gloomy doomy day. You don’t have to always curry an umbrella with you.

So today is one of those days when you can get ‘out’ of your clothes and just feel the sun ‘burning’ your skin. The sun will continue to hide behind the clouds at times but you can still smile and feel happy for even being able to see and enjoy the sun while it shines and shows off its brilliant yellow colour.

I really don’t get why people say that London is a depressing city just because of the weather. I am from a quite hot country and relocating to London was not that bad you know. It was good for me and I enjoy gloomy doomy weather sometimes.  Getting dressed with sweaters, coats, skirts and tights is what I love. Today is a day that I can ‘throw’ away for a while the tights, sweaters or coats away for a while. It also feels good.  I still enjoy the sun of course. There is nothing like walking under the sun when times get tough. It’s like refreshment and a reminder that there is always a light at the end of every tunnel.

I’m walking on suuuunshiiiineee woooooaaahh!!

Yes! Another reason to be happy is singing the same song over and over again. It’s a classic song. You simply can’t go wrong with that one.

Instead of sitting next to the window and watching the rain pour all over the streets, and making that annoying but at times kind of relaxing noise on the windows, is a good change just to walk under the sun and feel its light taking over that almost feels like is a strength. Sun is a power that you either love or hate. In this date in my diary London is sunny, with a completely view. You can see faces of people instead of them hiding under their umbrellas and hurrying up to avoid get all wet while taking the tube or the bus. You can also see smiles on people’s faces. Now this, is a day to be happy while walking under the sun.

You can feel free and enjoy the day while it lasts. I enjoy it. I can clearly see the buildings shining through their glass architecture. I can see faces. I can see smiles. I can see the sun. Above from all I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I often look upon a Star

"I often dream of a new world,

that is still awaiting for me.
I often look at the sky and wish
for something good to come.
I often feel blessed with what I have and
not have.
I often look upon a star
and Hope."

Crystal Ouloupi

The thing about life is not letting go of your dreams,

and keep on Hoping.

Hope and Belief comes within our souls.

Is always easy to just keep on Hoping, but what do you do while waiting?
I suggest you go after for what you believe in.
Wishes are good, but trying and going after them is much better.
We are the creators of our own destiny
so we should get up and make it happen.
No one will do it for us.
So Try!



Love,
Crystal
xoxo

Dream on

Welcome to a brand new week.
Keep on Dreaming and Keep on Hoping.
Try every day to make your dreams come true.
Embrace your days and be thankful.
Yes. It is Monday, but is not the end
of the world.
We should all try a little bit harder
and a little bit further.
Hard work pays up in the end
so make sure you give everything you have.

Have a superb week!
Dream on.


Love,

Crystal
xoxo

'They' taught us Money is Happiness.

So here is the thing. Money. A lot of people may argue that money is not important. And a lot of people say that happiness, love or health are more important. But let's face the truth. You cannot go to the doctor without paying nowadays. You cannot be happy when you don't have money, because you need food and a lot of necessities that you need every day. And Love is expensive! Love includes in buying gifts for your loved ones. Love needs to be shown and love = relationships end with children and blah blah blah. Well, having kids is not cheap isn't it? We need money to survive, to achieve our goals and to feel comfortable in order to be motivated. Money is the motivation for each and everyone. Whoever says different is apparently lying to him self and everyone else. 

Try being unemployed, which am sure a lot of you are. You have to pay rent (as you might not live with your parents), you have to pay bills, you need money to survive and buy food. You need money to buy stuff you need in your everyday life. Well here is what I think, because I'm in this situation and can relate to a lot of people out there. They tell you after you get your degree it will be easy for you to get a job. What they don't tell you is that a degree or a master or even a PHD is just papers. The truth is they are not just papers. You worked so hard and you learned so much information that you didn't know that will be useful in what you will decide to do in your future. Information is Knowledge and knowledge leads to big things. However, getting a job while studying is gonna be much easier so I do suggest that. See, I thought that I didn't need to get a job while studying, because it would be better to concentrate on my studies and then work. What a fool I 've been! I thought I knew better. Apparently I knew NOTHING. 

It's been so many months trying to get a job and is not easy. Right now, only in London (where I live), there are are at least 2.000.000 people trying to get a job! When you attend an interview or apply for a job you see so many people around you, which makes you losing control of your emotions and you feel hopeless! So many people for so less positions! Is like you are looking for ashes in a field. However, I tried to fill in my time with doing something that will help me get a job. I apply for free training courses that workplace, job center etc, offer. I have studied English Literature and my dream job is to work for a Publishing Company and maybe one day I will have my own one. This is going to sound weird, but the trainings I 've been to have nothing to do with what I studied. The first training was about Retail and the one I'm on now is about Hospitality. I need to earn qualifications and experience which I do not have in the UK. What I like from these trainings is that I meet new people, learn new things, earn new qualifications and I feel more confident in getting a job. I would suggest whoever and whatever you are doing use your time to do something that will help you get where you want.

I'm not going to lie, it gets hard, and sometimes you have nothing that will make you feel better. Whenever you need something you count everything you have or not have. My wallet is always empty. And when you can't have support, because your parents are also hopeless, you just wish for a miracle. Right now my biggest concern is that I have difficulties in paying my rent, but I know as soon as I get a job it won't be a problem. The problem is getting a job though. The thing about money is that once you learn to live with them you can't live without them. It's like a drug that is trying to take over your life. But is needed, because eras have changed and nothing is the same as like 2000 years ago! We are lucky to be alive and waking up every day, but money brings problems that cannot be solved unless you have it.

Money can buy happiness, because without money you cannot be happy. Happiness should be without worries or concerns. You can never be fully happy when you have so little. Yes all you need is Love, but as I said love is not cheap either. I am in love and I want to be able to help us both (since he lost his job). I want to be able to buy stuff, to be able to buy food and make dinner. Be able to buy train tickets and go see him without thinking 'I don't have money'. Is not about buying gifts and expensive ones, is about having that chance to see your loved one. I have dreams and I want to live them, but you can't go anywhere or do anything without money, so Yes I feel hopeless. I try to think positive every day, I try to have faith and try harder and harder, but sometimes no matter how much I try is not even enough. I should really start to have more faith in me, because right now I have faith, but not in me. It's hard, but it will get better. I know it will. I just need to stay motivated and keep trying. I'm not gonna give up. I have to start from somewhere in order to achieve my big dreams. Right now I have nothing but Love. I am really lucky to have that and I know it, but is always that 'but'.

When you have money you do not care. You buy buy buy without thinking that money can 'fade away' one day. Look our society and planet how things ended up. They say it would be the end of the world. What I believe is that our planet doesn't have to get 'destroyed' and disappear to reborn! I believe something might happen that will take things back to the past in order for us people (who destroyed this planet) to be reborned in a better society. What if this crisis that make everyone poor is a sign that everything needs to go back to where it all started and be able to change how it all ended? There are so many questions going on in my mind, but it seems like everything makes sense now. People destroyed this planet and we need to be the ones to fix it, if it's still fixable. 

Our lives depend on something. I think for all of us money is what we are depending on. Is the most important thing, because this is how they taught us. We already have Love. Some don't have their full health but money can do that. You need money to do a surgery or any therapy. You can't be healthy if you don't have money to buy medicines and so on. 

So the right thing to be done in order to have money is use our time and do things that will help us get there! Once we realize that money won't come knocking on our door is the time we ll be ready to go out there and achieve it. The right time will come. And I will use my precious time with wisdom that will make things better. I have my dreams, I will achieve them. I have my goals, I will reach them. I have faith, I will have more faith in me. Time is precious, even if sometimes is running out. But I have a second chance to make things right. Is called tomorrow. I will always use the tomorrow as wise as I can. Money do buy happiness, but I have to think it doesn't. Is the only way to keep on going. Make the money! Don't let the money make you. Change the game, don't let the game change you. But in order to make the money, you have to be clever and use your time with wisdom. It will all get better with time. 

Love,

Crystal 

xoxo

DO what makes YOU Happy..

The other day I was chatting with one of my best friends about things that happen in our lives at the moment. Don't you have that one friend that you feel you can talk about everything without considering the fact that they will judge you, but instead you motivate each other? Well that's what I feel every time I talk with her. I will always get the honest answer back, which is something I love about her. Maybe is the fact that I do the same and I always expect people to do the same to me. There are only a few people out there who are able to listen and accept the truth. Is ironic though, how a lot of them always seek for the truth, but no one ever appreciate the fact that you are straight forward. Why do you want to know the truth when is something you won't be able to accept? 

One of the things we were chatting was about the things we used to love doing while growing up. She loved to draw and so did I. She needs to feel really inspired to start drawing when I on the other hand will start drawing whatever and whenever really. However, there are different types of drawings and feelings that come out of every picture. A picture is worth a thousand words they say. So honest and so true. One might not be able to describe an image in a thousand words, but you will get a different answer from everyone, so you end up with your thousands of words.

What is amazing when you draw is that afterwards you can look back at it and feel what you have been drawing. When you are inspired and emotional is something that will be seen in your drawings. If you are sad, dark colors are the ones most used in your drawings and when you are happy you chose the colorful ones. Your soul and what is in your heart at that moment is what will be displayed in your illustrations. The best drawings are those who "speak" to your heart and mind. This is Art; to be able to show in your drawings what you feel and those drawings that will make you emotional but also make you think and consider about different things.

No one can judge your drawings. They might say is bad or is good, but the truth is that everything about what you draw is real, because it comes from your soul.  It makes YOU happy, so anyone who is trying to bring you down is someone who doesn't know what "expressing your feelings" means. There are different ways to express what you believe and what you feel. Mine are drawing and writing. 

The difference between those who are trying to bring you down and those who give you great feedback on what you do (might not be drawings or writing but something else) is that you get motivated. You feel good about yourself and you are motivated to continue doing it. If it's something that you love doing then Why Stop? They can't take away your dreams and they can't take away your inspiration, unless you let them do it to you. In order to start doing what you love you must find your motivations and get out of your comfort zone. 

Comfort zone is the fears you may have. You might be afraid of spiders, failure, heights and so on. Comfort zone is also when you are tired or depressed. One important stage of comfort zone is that you keep saying to your self "What if I Can't?" You make your self believe that you will not make it and you can't do it, which leads you in taking steps back and not be motivated to carry on in order to achieve your dreams or goals. To get out of the comfort zone and make steps ahead YOU NEED to face your fears. If you are afraid of heights go and face it. If you are afraid of failure and that you will not end up with the result you want then TRY it. You have NOTHING to lose. You will only lose a part of your self and in the end you will regret for the things you haven't done or tried. 

When you get out of the comfort zone you will be fearless and confident. You will be free and passionate for success. You will say to your self out loud "What if I CAN?" Because you Can do it. You can achieve it if you can dream it. No one is stopping you but YOU. You are the owner and the creator of your dreams and goals. The sky is the limit of your passion and love. Find out what you want to do and be clear about it, find ways to make it happen and then Do it. Belief is something powerful. When you believe in your self you show everyone else who you are. No one is going to stop you. There will always be someone to bring you down, but never think for a moment that you can't do it. They are your motivation to go and show them "YES I can do it". "Who are you to bring me down?" should be your answer to them. Take your life in your hands, because no one will do it for you. Face your fears. Look at them in the eyes and just do it. 

There are times when you have no motivation to start doing something that you wanted to do long time ago, but no one stopped you. You did. You gave up on you. The result when you give up on your dreams and things that you love to do is that you end up with depression and the thought of failure. You feel like there is nothing you are able to do and nothing makes you happy anymore. You create it to your self. Why did you give up? What was the reason? Realize what you have done and Get back to it. You should always complete what you started doing in the first place. It was in your plans and plans always lead to your dreams and goals. I might be sitting here and writing for you to read my stories, but I am doing what makes me happy. I write. At first it was weird and I was afraid to do it, because I didn't think it would be good enough. But if you don't try you will always end up with questions that start with "What if". Doing what makes you happy is a medicine to your self. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to have a good life where you will be able to develop your self and the way you think. Once I faced it that's it. I write more and I feel good about it. It might not be perfect but it will always get better each and every time. 

When you are sad start drawing.. When you are happy start drawing. When is just something in between get a piece of paper, a pencil and draw. If you don't like drawing then write. If you don't like writing or drawing then listen to some music. Be creative. You can create what you feel. There is always something we love to do. Then why Not do it? You don't have to be perfect at what you do and what you like doing, but you will get better with time. Doesn't matter what age you are. There is always free time when you have the willingness to get out of your comfort zone and achieve something. There are so many great things you can achieve that you do not even know about yet. When you are happy everyone around you will be. And they will be happy for you because you are trying. You are trying to develop and satisfy your self. You shouldn't be sad. There are so many things to be happy about. Make it happen. You owe it to You. You owe it to everyone around you that care about you. DO IT .. DO IT .. DO IT...!!!

Find what is in your heart. Learn what your dreams are. Dreams are not always things we wish we had. Dreams are goals and achievements. Wake up. The best thing about dreams is that they can be alive. You make them reality. Dreams are stories and part of your life. You create them in your head, then why not create them and give them life? No one can take them away from you, but no one will make your dreams come true. You MUST take steps ahead. You will then be happy and proud that you achieved something. Never give up. I will never stop saying that to you. NEVER GIVE UP. When you give up on your dreams, you will give up on your life, then you will just be wondering "what if". 

Get up, Wake up, Do it. You deserve to be Happy. Never forget that. 

The above pictures are drawings by my best friend (except the first one "do what makes you happy"). I wanna thank her for letting me show them out here and just want to let her know that Everything will Get better, but never give up. :-)


Love,

Crystal

xoxo

Fairytales, Romance and Cheating.

Once upon a time... No, not really.. This is not a fairytale. There is not such thing as fairytales with happy endings and the perfect prince nor the perfect princess. We are the ones who tell a story, because we create our own fairytale. Is not always a happy or a sad ending, but one thing is sure - we decide what the ending will be like. Fairytales lead to romance, but isn't the romance that should lead into a fairytale? Yet again, does romance still exists in men and women's lives? 

Well, life is not a black and white movie with steam trains, where the man or the woman awaits at the train station with kids, or flowers and a cute dog. Nowadays, people won't even wait by the train station for someone, pretty much because the romance is faded away. But is it really the romance withered, or it all depends on the character and lifestyle of someone? Is cheating one of the reasons that romance vanished; and the reason to 'crush' a fairytale? Why do people cheat? Oh, this is going to be a hell of a ride. But remember, this is my opinion and I write through my own view from what I see and experience in my life. 

So here is how things started that lead me into writing about this subject. I was having a really interesting conversation with a guy friend of mine and ended up playing the truth or dare game. Now this sounds weird, but we ended up just answering 'truth' questions. I believe that 'truth' is a dare by itself, just because you end up knowing things about a person that you would never dare ask unless it was for a game. 

As a woman who 'seeks' for romance I never really had any of it in my life so far to be honest. I would like for once a guy that I'm dating to pop up at my door, bring me flowers, give me a kiss and take me out to a lovely dinner. I mean, there is nothing wrong with wanting flowers that would make you feel special, right? Well, apparently, men take the whole romance subject differently than women. And am not saying it because of the conversation I had with my friend, but because he was NOT the only man I 've met who said "I'm not a romantic guy." I only met one guy so far who was very romantic, and this actually happened! I remember him saying: "I wish there were still steam trains with that weird sound, so I would wait for you by the train station with my dog and give you a quick kiss when I see you." Still no flowers, but not complaining; at least he was there with his dog waiting and I got the kiss! So is not that the romance is gone, is because there are only a few men left that still believe in it. Unfortunately, there are more women in this planet than men which makes you wonder whether you will find a romantic guy or not. 

Relationships do not last, and one of the few reasons is because that spark and romance is not existent. For example, a woman will make you dinner and wait for you to get home every single night. So why not show your appreciation and love for her by doing something similarly good and nice? I get the fact that roses are expensive, but you bet we worth it once in a while! If a woman will tell you she doesn't like flowers and all the romantic stuff, she is totally lying. Once in a while, even those women would like to feel some romance. For me, romance keeps the spark in a relationship alive, plus it will not make me get bored and I will feel special. I like a guy who can keep me up on my feet and remind me everyday why is it important to him that I am in his life. So when I respect you and try to make things work in order to be in a healthy relationship, you should do the same. 

Speaking about respect and romance, there comes the question "Why would I ever cheat on you, when you wouldn't do it to me?" The answer that most men and women would give you is the one "Because you don't really love me." Now that is one hell of a lie. I can sit here and tell you a whole number of 'love stories' who ended up being broken just because one of them cheated.  However, I will stick only to one and that is my own. When you are in a relationship, as I said above, you want to feel that spark and also feel you are special to the one you are with. Women like to feel that a guy would do anything to stay by their side, so you think that a guy would actually try it. 

Men and women can be busy and at times they will give "space" in the relationship without realizing it, which immediately takes the romance away. Now, when at least one of them is busy and does not have time for the relationship the other will start wondering and seeking for attention. Attention will lead to cheating and cheating will result into breaking the trust; but mostly the relationship.  Therefore, trust can be earned back and the relationship could work. But what if it would happen again and how should someone react? Well, it all depends on the person and how he/she deals with a situation like this. I mean if a guy catch you in a bed with someone else, there is nothing to be discussed. When, however, you are true to your relationship and have the power to admit what you have done, then that is where a part of the trust is slightly broken, but also earned! You admit you made a mistake, you are willing to work in order to earn that trust back and you show to that person that you do love them. But of course, you make sure you are not going to make the same mistake again, just because he does not deserve it and you would not like it if he would do it to you! 

In contrast between the two, women cheat if there is something wrong with the relationship; guys cheat if there is an opportunity. In my opinion, this is not completely true, considering the fact that it could be  all the other way around - guys cheat if there is something wrong with the relationship; women cheat if there is an opportunity. We all know that things changed a lot and women have become more powerful and independent. You cannot always blame men about everything that is happening, since us women can make things very difficult at times. We can also work many times a day, while the guy works less or not at all, so we should be able to understand both sides. However, some of us do, some of us don't, because we always try to find reasons to start a 'fight'. 

For a relationship to work there should all be in there; romance, trust, respect, faithfulness and the ability to try and give everything you have in order for it to work. Do and try new things. There is nothing wrong in trying and reminding the person you love all the reasons you loved them in the first place. If the spark and all these are gone, there will be nothing left standing and you will then start wondering and wishing that things were different. We do not get a lot of chances, so we make the one we have worth it! If you want to be respected; show respect. If you want to be trusted, you should earn it. When anyone of the two makes a step back then the other will start making steps back, so it could never work. Both should try as much. It wouldn't be fair if the one was always trying to make the relationship alive while the other just 'goes along'. 

I probably say this all the time, but be true to yourself in order to be able and be true to someone else. It all first starts with how you treat yourself and how much you respect You. When you know what you want and you are able to adjust with who you are, you will then manage with being in a relationship. Don't be afraid to give away a part of you in order to be loved. For then, you will be loved for the right reasons, and the relationship would be healthy and lasting. Be fun and never give up. There is always an answer behind every question as much as a solution behind every problem. Make your fairytale worth all the happy endings in the world, but make sure the fairytale is how You wanted it to be and stop looking for perfection such as the prince or the princess...

Love,

Crystal

xoxo

All you need is....LOVE...

 There are different kinds of Love. But the important thing is to be able to Love. Love gives you hope and strength in order to continue the journey of life. Love means you will get hurt, you will cry; but Love also means you will feel happy, you will laugh and smile. Be surrounded by people that show their love to you and who are afraid to lose you. Is not about who says he/ she loves you. Is about who shows it every time and in every chance they get. To love is nothing, but to love and be loved is Everything. All things in life get complicated, because sometimes we make them that way, but is in our hands to make it all go away. Never stop showing your love to the people who deserve it. You will regret it when you won't, considering that you never took the chance to do it. When you love someone you let them know by any means. You show it. You make them feel that you do mean it and never let a moment go by without reminding to them how important it is to you that they are still next to you. 

There have been moments when I never said it and never showed it to people I had by my side. Then, the next second they were gone and I couldn't let them know. This is something that will always stay with me. They say never regret what you do, but that is not the case in a subject like "Love". Everyone needs it, but yet not everyone gets it. Is not a material; is like oxygen, because you need it to live. I read a quote somewhere, saying: "They say love is important, but I think Oxygen is more important." Anyone can make a statement like that, but deep down he/she does not really believe it. You say things like this, because you are hurt, and is okay to get hurt. It is part of life; to get hurt and hurt other people. 

Everyone thinks is expert when it comes to Love, but the real deal is that few people actually get to know what real Love is. Love is to stand by the person you care about; stick with them no matter if things get good or bad. Love is compromising and letting someone into your life in order to let you into theirs. Love is accepting the person regardless if you do not like everything about them. Love is showing. Love is letting them know. Love is to not be afraid to love. 

All you need is Love. When you love you learn to give; and you should never get tired of giving. Love will teach you to be strong and accept; but also face your fears. You only need Love, because is the only guaranteed real happiness. In every bad situation or problems you will need that love. 'It' will help you get back up and keep moving, just because there is nothing more powerful than being loved and love back.  Make every moment of it count. Do not be afraid to show love to anyone who might need it. Some people do not get to feel it as much as some others so make it count. You will then feel their love and real appreciation. Never bring people down, because life is a circle and whatever you do comes right back at you. Have faith and hope. Believe in Love so that Love will believe in you. Is the best feeling you will ever get to feel while you are alive. Love.. Love as much as you can.! Make your heart pick up every broken piece and show everyone your real love for them. You will not have many chances to do it, so never leave it for tomorrow. 

Love,

Crystal

xoxo

The truth about Me and You.

Trying to get your spot in a new world is not easy. I haven't written in here for like ages and I want to apologize. I will be more active now.

So the real deal is that I moved to London a couple of months ago, and I have been trying to get a job since then.  I graduated this summer and is actually really difficult to get one if you don't have any experience in the UK. It gets stressful and upsetting, so I decided to start doing what I used to love few years back, before I even moved in the UK, like 4 years ago.  

I really loved sketching and drawing, because it would "block" the rest of the world and I could just get lost while I created my drawings. I tried Graphic Designs, I was learning Fine Art and I was into Fashion Figures and Designs. Even though I studied something else (English Literature), this is a way of expression and letting your emotions to be shown in the drawings. I love writing and speaking with 'freedom' of speech, which lead me into studying English Literature. I also adore books!!! Books, writing and speaking is also an Art of expression.

However, there are times that writing and trying to express your emotions cannot be written in a piece of paper so you can try different things. This is why I love sketching and drawing. I'm not an expert to it, but I do try due to the few lessons I had. It's a whole other level and is a more creative side of a person who talks less than expressing herself sometimes. I am a straight forward person and no matter what I will say my opinion even if it's harsh or raw. I was never like that; I used to lie to people when I was younger, but not because I wanted to, but because I thought no one would like me if I was telling the truth. That changed. I learned to be true to my self so I can be true to the people I meet.

Knowing people who have jobs that hate to do is something I'm afraid I will end up with. They are studying, or even those who don't have the chance to go to college are trying to get their place in a world where it can be a happy or a sad ending. People who love their jobs and what they do are those I admire the most. They see the chance and they take it without thinking 'I will succeed' or 'I will fail'. There is not succeeding if you don't fail at least once. If you fail more than once, you just have to keep trying. Trying to be positive in order to succeed, occasionally doesn't always work. Every now and then it gets harder and you feel like nothing is working, but you have to be able to keep trying. Nothing ever comes easy, but when it arrives you will gain your confidence back and then you will succeed. 

From time to time, people will test your strength and your abilities, not because they are trying to bring you down, but because they know you can do it. You will eventually realize it and you will be grateful. I am grateful for what I have and what I don't have. Not all of us find everything right there in front of our feet from others who have worked their butts off to be where they are today. Not all of us get opportunities easy. We have to work hard and make our own path in the world. There is always a light at the end of all tunnels and I am looking forward to it. I still believe in me and I do hope for everyone who is trying to find a place in the world, to make it until the end.

My mom keeps saying "Don't worry, everything will be okay. It can't get worse and if it gets it can always get better." She does have a point and I admire her for having the strength and always be positive regardless everything that is happening. The truth is, not everyone has the support from their families in what they do, and some people don't even have families, so I am grateful for mine. Always been and always will be. My mom is my biggest fan since I can remember. When I told her and showed her that I started drawing again I saw that sparkle in her eyes and felt how proud she was. She always used to say that 'despite what is going to happen in your life, never forget what you can do and how many things you can achieve'. So true, but yet somewhere along the way you forget and you just give up things you love to do. Like me, there is always time to get back to it and try again. It will be a good feeling and it can change your 'luck', just because you start believing in yourself.

For the past few weeks I have been drawing and sketching and even painting as you can see below (all the pictures are my drawings/paintings/sketches). Not all of my close people know that I can draw really well sometimes and that's something I haven't really figured out why. Maybe, it's because it was something that was included in my past, a subject that I don't like to talk about. But now that is becoming my present I really want to show it off and say I can do that without caring what reaction I will get. I brought 'back' a piece of myself I used to love and makes me think that I can do whatever I like and be proud for it.

What I tried to say in this post is that regardless what is happening in your life never give up on things that make you feel proud and happy. You deserve to feel happy and be proud of who you are. No one can take your dreams away and there is not a person that should make you feel bad for things you love to do.  Never give up on YOU and always make the best out of yourself in order to become a better person. You may not always feel like things are going well, but it will only get better. Keep trying and stay positive. The only thing you get by being negative is bad mood and be upset. It's okay sometimes not to be okay, but things will get better. I promise you! :)

I hope you liked my post and feel free to comment :)


Love,
Crystal
xoxo

Missing Someone. . .

My whole life was built up for this moment.  I tried so hard to come where I am today and I cannot let it go.  However, having no one of the people you love next to you moments like this it gets harder and frustrating.  Do you ever have that feeling when you just want to see someone and give them a big hug so that it will ease what you are going through?  I feel it all the time.  I have chosen to be where I am, I make my own decisions, but I miss them.  I miss them a lot.  It gets hard, but it can only gets better I guess.

Sometimes, it is heartbreaking, because there are moments you want to share, but you can't.  My family, my friends are the most important people in my life.  My friends! I miss them so much.  I have never felt this loved before.  In my whole life, I was living in a joke and a lie.  I could never be myself, because I thought no one would like me as I am.  Such a lie.

A lot of people went from 'friends' to enemies or to just completely strangers.  I have pushed a lot of them away, mostly because I knew that if they knew me better they would not like who I was.  Truth is, I was with the wrong people and I made bad choices that lead me to be with none of them today.  I was young and I did not know what was the right choice

for me.  It doesn't matter who you've known the longest, but who would never leave you when things got bad.  They would stick with you, support you and with no judgement.  Those who came and stayed are the most precious pieces and parts that complete me and my life.

When I was a teen, I used to cry all the time and my 'friends' were the main reason.  I never felt, that I fit in their world, maybe because I was 'handling' them in the wrong way.  I never knew how to act or who to be when I was with them.  I was unhappy then, but I am happy now.

I miss my friends, but I'm here because of them and for them.  I finally feel that I have someone to feel proud of me.  I am who I am  and they would never try and change me.  It's a nice feeling.  I want them to be proud. I want to look in their eyes, one day, and see the sparkle that will make me feel proud of myself and who I have become.  I miss them, I do and I will never stop missing them, but my 'walk' has just started.  As long as they walk it with me, no matter the distance [or no distance], I will only get further and further.

This is finally me and I like who I am, but I owe most part of it to them, because they accepted me with all my flaws.  This is how it should be - always being yourself, so the right people will love you - and am very thankful they are in my life.

This is for them..